I’m back. After a self imposed hiatus I have determined it is time for me to get back on this P90X horse and share my fitness goals for 2023 with my readers. First and foremost – a big thank you to all of you who have spurred me on over the last year and a half.
It has been an interesting journey to say the least. My family has experienced quite a few curve balls since I started this blog 1 1/2 years ago. There have been a lot of successes sprinkled with setbacks as well as some failures.
Now, before you “positive minded,” “positive attitude” people start foaming at the mouth, let me say this……I believe in a positive outlook as well, but I believe it is always healthy to review the past to learn what went right as well as what went wrong so that I can repeat what went right and correct what went wrong.
I want to take and am taking personal responsibility for my failure so that I can learn from them and get better and ultimately overcome those weaknesses that more often than not rear their ugly heads at the worst possible times in my life.
I injured myself in plethora (I love that word) of places sometime towards the end of September. I was feeling pretty good….I was seeing improvement in my workouts and I had more energy when I was playing racquetball. So much so that I forgot to keep myself in check and I ended up re injuring my right rotator cuff as well as tearing my right tricep and tearing up both of my knees.
I’m older than I used to be. Truth be told…I just turned 50 yesterday. I still feel like a 20 something in my head, but sadly my body doesn’t heal as quickly as it did when I was younger. It took almost 4 months to be able to get back to P90X without re-aggravating those injuries.
This time around I will be more careful. I have had a complete physical…a colonoscopy (its like living a dream) and have chosen some new dietary guidelines and workout schedules to have more success in 2023. Aside from being overweight, I am healthy. My cholesterol is good, my blood pressure is flirting with being too high, but I’m not in the danger zone and I will not allow myself to hit the danger zone.
It’s nice to know that I can workout hard and not be at risk of blowing something up. The colonoscopy….no problems, no polyps, no issues. Time to get to work.
What did I learn in 2022? I learned that it is much easier and more enjoyable to workout with a partner or multiple partners, but that its not always practical. My wife and I are working out together on the days it makes sense with our schedules and I a working out alone otherwise. My sister in law is in the process of returning to fitness while battling lung cancer. She is responding well to her medication and the tumors in her body are shrinking or disappearing altogether. Miracles happen….plain and simple…..thank God.
She may be able to start back up with some P90X in the not so distant future.
Where did I fail or struggle in 2022? I’ve come to realize that my biggest mistake of 2022 was my self talk. Frankly, it was completely counterproductive to what I was trying to achieve. While I was doing my body lots of good by doing the Today Fitness, I was sabotaging myself with negative self images and self talk…..to the point where I believe it counteracted all the good I was doing with my workouts.
I didn’t lose any weight….whether or not I was working out I stayed at basically the same weight as when I started. I would lose some and then put some back on. I was terribly inconsistent and I now believe that it was because I keep calling myself “fat ass,” “lard ass,” “puss bucket,” “fat bald puke” etc., etc. In my mind I believed I was a fat slob and my body obliged me by continuing on it’s chubby hubby way.
I have done a lot of reading and studying over the last 4 months to try and get my head on straight…so to speak. It hasn’t been easy and I can’t tell you that I’m 100% certain that I won’t slip back into my old habits from time to time, but I have worked on my weakness of poor self talk and I am at a point where i”m comfortable enough to share where I’m at with it at the moment.
I am healthy
I am fit
I am strong
I am young
I am energetic
I am a workout beast
These are some of my “I am” statements for the rest of my life. This is who I am on the inside. I’m already there. This is the true me. The artificial me is what has developed over the years on the outside. 2023 is all about matching up my inside to my outside.
I would workout out hard for months at a time only to look in the mirror and get all pissed off that I was still a fat slob. Then I would berate myself and get “small” and weak, not in actual size but in spirit. I would depress myslef into not accepting myself and then I would fall back into my fat boy cycle. Now as I’m writing this I realize I may have to change the name of my blog at some point….I guess I’ll worry about that later.
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